


True Love's Kiss

by artenon



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:40:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24800107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artenon/pseuds/artenon
Summary: Leslie shrugged carelessly. “Oh, I’m sure you can figure it out. Prince gets turned into a frog… How does he turn back?”
Relationships: Cloud Strife/Barret Wallace
Comments: 14
Kudos: 102





	True Love's Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> for cai <3 a very ridiculous premise that we talked about, LOL.
> 
> thanks [sarah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ailurea) and [sand](https://archiveofourown.org/users/undieshogun) for the beta!

Cloud hopped frantically out of the way as Tifa dove towards the Sahagin, her leg outstretched. He heard her make contact behind him, then a terrible croaking noise and a thud.

Cloud was probably a safe distance away now. He turned around to survey the situation.

Tifa had pulled back into a defensive stance, but she relaxed when she saw that the Sahagin wouldn’t be getting up again. The fight now over, she let out a gusty sigh. Then she lifted her leg, twisted to check the underside of her boot, and made a face. “Ugh, I hate it down here.”

_You and me both_ , Cloud thought but couldn’t say.

Because he was currently a toad.

“Cloud!” Barret’s voice boomed above him.

_Oh shit._

Cloud tried to leap away as Barret’s shadow descended over him—Barret had no sense of restraint and Cloud did _not_ want to have the life squeezed out of him today. Unfortunately, he couldn’t go very far very fast in his current state, and Barret scooped him up easily.

To Cloud’s surprise, Barret’s fingers curled gently around him, squeezing just enough to stop him from escaping. Cloud stopped squirming, and Barret opened up his hand.

As a toad, Cloud fit easily in Barret’s palm, though he suspected anyone else might need two hands to hold him. Barret was a very large person, and not just because Cloud was currently shrunken down several times his usual size. He had a big, strong body, and, um…

Why was Cloud thinking about this?

“He’s a frog!” Barret said, looking to Tifa. “Or a toad?”

“Does it matter?” Tifa said, simultaneous with Cloud’s thoughts.

“Guess not… But what do we do?!” Barret sounded more frantic than he ever had about Cloud, which was funny, until he noticed that Tifa looked worried, too.

“I don’t know,” she said. “This happened when we fought some of these guys with Aerith, and she used magic to turn him back. I think it was a Cleansing materia?”

“Shit, I don’t think I’ve got one of those,” Barret said.

Tifa bit her bottom lip. “Me neither.”

Cloud wished he could tell them not to worry. He didn’t make a habit of getting hit by toad curses, but it’d happened a few times. Cloud wasn’t a fan. Everything became way too big and it was always too cold. Barret’s hand was warm, though. Cloud manfully resisted the urge to snuggle into it.

Uh. Anyway. The point was, even if they couldn’t cast Esuna, Cloud knew the curse would wear off on its own eventually.

“Lemme double-check my pockets,” Barret said. He looked down, seemed to remember he was holding Cloud in his only hand, and looked back to Tifa. He held Cloud out to her, careful, and Cloud was again struck by how gently Barret was handling him. “Mind holding him for a sec?”

“Um,” Tifa said. “O-okay…” She raised a hand, but her fingers were curled and she leaned back slightly even as she reached out, face twisted in a grimace. “Is he… slimy?”

“Come on, you guys,” another voice piped up. “You know what you have to do.”

Tifa and Barret turned. Barret wrapped his fingers around Cloud as he did, keeping him secure.

Leslie had apparently deemed it safe enough to catch up with them. He took in the three of them with a slight smirk, then sauntered to the nearest wall and leaned back against it, arms crossed.

“What’chu talking about?” Barret growled.

Leslie shrugged carelessly. “Oh, I’m sure you can figure it out. Prince gets turned into a frog… How does he turn back?”

What the hell was he talking about?

“The princess kisses him,” Barret said. “Yeah, I know the stories. I read ‘em to my little girl. But those are just fairy tales!”

Oh. Seriously?

“And those fairy tales had to come from somewhere,” Leslie said.

“That can’t…” Barret stared at Leslie, then at Cloud sitting in his palm. Short of other options, Cloud flicked his tongue out towards Leslie.

He had to give it to Leslie, he was pretty convincing with the nonchalance, but it was still too ridiculous to believe. Barret wasn’t the brightest bulb, but Cloud thought for sure he would call Leslie’s bullshit for what it was. Or Tifa. Surely Tifa wouldn’t be fooled. But Tifa was silent, and Cloud watched as Barret wavered with uncertainty.

_No_ , Cloud wanted to groan. He tried croaking again, which backfired spectacularly when the sound seemed to harden Barret’s resolve.

“We gotta try,” Barret said. “We can’t leave him like this. Tifa!”

“What?” Tifa exclaimed. “Me?”

“Well, yeah!” Barret said. “I ain’t a princess.”

“I’m no more a princess than you are!”

“But you’re old friends,” Barret said. “And it’s always true love’s kiss that breaks the curse in the stories. You like him, don’t you?”

Tifa blushed. “We’re just friends!” She looked at Cloud, her expression exactly the same as when Barret tried to have her hold him: reluctant and grossed-out. “Do I… do I have to?”

Cloud felt a little offended. If Tifa had been turned into a small amphibian and he thought kissing her was the only way to turn her back, he knew he’d do it. Not that he wanted her to kiss him, because he knew it wouldn’t work, but still. It was the principle of the thing.

“Gonna take one for the team, big man?” Leslie drawled.

_No way_ , Cloud thought.

Barret frowned down at Cloud. “Come on, SOLDIER boy. You’re no use to us like this.”

He lifted Cloud up towards his face.

_No. Way._

Barret pressed his lips to Cloud’s little toad mouth. Cloud tensed, despite himself, and—

Nothing happened.

Obviously.

“Wow,” Leslie said.

“It didn’t work!” Barret said. He stared accusingly at Cloud, like it was somehow hisfault that he was still a toad.

“I… didn’t think you’d actually do it,” Leslie said. “It was a joke.”

Barret redirected his glare. “What the hell, man? Then how’re we supposed to turn him back?”

Of course, it was at that precise moment that the curse wore off and Cloud transformed back to his regular body without warning or fanfare.

Under normal circumstances, Barret could probably hold Cloud up with one arm if he wanted to, easy. Not that Cloud thought Barret would ever want to. And not that _Cloud_ wanted Barret to. Cloud was merely observing the fact that Barret probably normally _could_ , only Barret hadn’t expected the toad in his hand to suddenly turn into a fully-grown adult, and so instead of supporting Cloud’s weight, he yelped in surprise and they both went tumbling down.

Barret landed on his back. Cloud landed on top of Barret.

“Ugh.” Cloud lifted his head from Barret’s chest. Barret’s… very broad chest.

Barret was a big man, with a broad chest. Cloud knew this objectively, but he’d never been so close to it before, staring directly at the dip of his pectorals into his tank top. Why did he wear a shirt with such a low neckline, anyway? That was just unnecessary.

Cloud shifted. Barret’s hand was on his ass. Not Barret’s fault; Cloud _had_ been sitting in his hand, and when Cloud had reverted to himself, that was where his butt had ended up. But still. His hand was on Cloud’s ass, and it wasn’t moving, because Barret was busy staring at Cloud in apparent shock.

“Did it work?” he said. “Is it ‘cause I—”

“Curse wore off,” Cloud cut in quickly. “You just had to wait.”

He tried to push himself up, but he couldn’t comfortably brace his hand on the ground because, again, Barret was very broad. In the end he had to brace himself on Barret’s bicep. It was all firm muscle, and Cloud’s entire hand barely covered half of it. That was very distracting.

Tifa’s hand appeared in his periphery. “You okay?”

Cloud scrambled off of Barret—finally dislodging the hand on his butt—and let Tifa help him up. “Yeah,” he said, trying not to pout, still a little offended that she hadn’t wanted to kiss him.

Tifa tilted her head, clearly sensing that something was wrong. “You sure?”

“I’m fine,” Cloud said. “Good job taking out the Sahagin.”

Barret stood and dusted his pants. “So… I didn’t have to kiss you?”

How had he not figured that one out yet?

“Nope,” Cloud said. “No more kissing me while I’m a toad, thanks.”

Immediately, he wanted to swallow his tongue. Why had he specified _while I’m a toad_? What, did he want Barret to kiss him while he wasn’t a toad?

...Did he?

“Okay, I’ll just kiss you while you ain’t a toad, then,” Barret said with a laugh. Then he realized what he said. “Wait.”

“Um,” Tifa said.

“Uh,” Barret said.

Cloud suddenly had a hard time looking at Barret. He looked at the wall instead. “Can we go now?”

“You guys are weird,” Leslie said. “But I guess I knew that already. Come on, it’s this way.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!!


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